what am i doing

it's both sad, and good.
I have been crrunching hard on a project that isn't paying me.
well, there is a life at the end of the tunnel, maybe.
yes, i said life, not light.
it's a good project, i think it could be one of those really BIG projects.
one of those i could retire if i was smart projects.
I hope it is.

but the sad part is that i have a new programming model for those clients that are asking for help at little or no upfront pay.
drink, watch movies, and tackle items on the todo list one at a time without really giving a shit.

it sounds really sad, but look at it another way.
I get to enjoy a really good bottle of wine.
the project gets done, albeit at a more relaxed pace.
my brain is happier.
and the not giving a shit part? well, it's a weird self-subterfuge that actually helps.
If i could pull it off during the day, it would probably help
but during the day, i am usually too busy reading news.

so that's it.
what am i doing.
oh, yeah, it's programming :)

you might think that programming requires you to be as straigh headed as possible.
not necessarily
for some of us people in this world, the logic behind programming is the most normal thing in our minds.
no, that does not make us better than those that don't have the same skill/talent/ability.
trust me, we lack in some things that others don't.
I am no better than you, who is, SURPRISE, no better than anyone else.

we ALL have our disabilities.
and one ABILITY i have is to let you know what your disability is, if pushed to far.

okay, somehow this degraded into a you aren't better than anyone else, treat everyone with respect or I will tell you why you are definitely NOT better than anyone else rant.
ok
going to stop now